I thought this was pretty funny. With a nod to SPR.
The Jacksonville Hipster
• Skinny jeans
• Ironic T-shirt or wrinkled white undershirt
• Some sort of plaid shirt, half-buttoned
• Unnecessary hat
• Burro Bag
• Local brewery growler or a can of PBR
• Bugler cigarettes
• Matches (lighters are for boring people with kids and Mandarin addresses)
• Sleave tattoos (or have your friends draw things on your arms: religious images, robots, a fish with arms and so forth)
You’ve been to the native environs of the Jacksonville hipster — Riverside, Downtown and Springfield — so you know how this species looks and acts. Simultaneously show lament and grief from the closing of London Bridge. Tell people you remember when The Pearl was the Art Bar. To get really into character, tell your audience that they really missed out by not going to Einstein-A-Go-Go at the beach. Even if you weren’t even born then. Like you care.